Food for thought

Today I made it to see my lovely aunt, as I mentioned I'd be trying to while down here. We had a great time, talking for probably far too long about a surprisingly wide range of things. She's a bit of a gourmet chef (this is an understatement) so given my tentative inching into that Actual Cooking stuff we ended up talking food for quite a while, and she persuaded me to try some new cheeses and crackers. I seem to be surrounded by people who know what they're doing with food and are eager to take me up on my promise to "try anything once". I don't regret it yet...

Among the food discussion, a couple of books came up - Elizabeth David's works, which sound half cookery book, half food history and exploration of why and how regional dishes came about, due to sources of food and so on. I (as you see) whipped out my ever-present notebook and took down the name, because one area where I am very aware I am lacking in worldbuilding is food. I'm really bad at including meals at all when writing, because I don't know enough about what's available in what sort of climate, at what level of technology and civilisation. And I do rather need to include at least fleeting mention of meals when I write so many important Round The Campfire scenes. But I get lost in clickbait when I try to do vague internet research around that, and end up briefly extremely informed about the spice trails through the Middle East and not very informed at all about pre-potato British cuisine. Or pre-British potato-based cuisine, for a little continental diversity.

Anyway, I have a name and a few titles and hopefully that sort of focused attack will help. In the meantime I'll have to reread Ray Mears and make do for the moment.

Ah, the troublesome life of a writer. Nothing escapes scrutiny, to add depth to the next book.

My brain is tired

In amongst all the cleaning, tidying, washing up, etc etc today, I managed to read the first 100 pages of Ann Leckie's Ancillary Justice, nominee for the Clarke Award in May. I've been seeing a lot about this one here and there, since Orbit decided to pair it with Rachel Aaron/Bach's Paradox trilogy for promotional stuff at one point. Lots of the "If you like that, try this" approach, I seem to recall. And then of course it was nominated for the Clarke Award, and it's an oddball, so it's caught a lot of attention. So I'm going in with that kind of bias, and a handful of non-spoilery reviews.

So far, there's a lot of squabbling going on in my head, between writer-me, reader-me, and LGBT/feminist-conscious-me. Between my many mes, I'm pretty sure I'm arguing both sides and the middle. I foresee another far-too-in-depth-and-yet-no-plot-spoilers sort of half review, half analysis in the future. Sorry about that. But I've got another 286 pages to go, yet. That might all change.

Four of the five other nominees arrived at the library back in York, too, today, which is a little frustrating as they'll only keep them reserved in my name for so long, and I am, naturally, in Cambridge until just after the deadline. I was hoping they'd turn up before I came down here, so I wouldn't lose two weeks of reading/reviewing, but oh well. I'm sure I'll work something out.

Anyway. People other than me tried the mini carrot cakes today and declared them tasty, so I'm quite pleased there. If I can work out cooking time, perhaps I can do a full scale one and distribute the icing more evenly that way, because whoa, these things are loaded with the stuff as it stands now. Not that I'm complaining, you understand.

I also ate spinach today for what I'm pretty sure is the first time ever, and it evidently hasn't poisoned me, so that's a plus too.

Make my cake and eat it

I finally got round to making those mini carrot cakes I've been meaning to do for a couple of weeks now, today. And oh my, they turned out tasty. They're a bit slapdash and flung together with hope rather than technique, but the cream cheese icing I added (from a different recipe) worked out all right. They taste, in fact, like cafe cake. But minus those pesky chewy walnut bits people keep insisting on ruining good carrot cakes with. And the process of making them has revealed exactly why it is that carrot cake is often my favourite cake, surpassing even chocolate at times. There's cinnamon and dried fruit in the cake mix, and vanilla and cream cheese in the icing. It's like they came up with the perfect cake just for me.

I should probably segue into some deep thoughts about the perfect ingredients in storytelling and how there are some stories I'm always going to like if they have these key four elements in them, but it's late and I am tired after two rounds of washing up and a slight tidying spree to boot, and I have a long journey ahead of me tomorrow.

Really, I should try and figure out some way of writing in the car. It sort of feels like the hours on the road are wasted. As hard as I try to cling to the conversations and plot points I come up with on the way, my brain is always so focused on driving that everything else just slips away by the time I arrive. At best I remember the one key plot twist that made me laugh for twenty miles. I suppose it does filter things down to the really important, memorable bits, though. Better than nothing.

Back by popular demand

You may have noticed a lack of posts over the last few days. Interestingly, I've had complaints about that. I was expecting complaints about the excessive chatter, not the lack of it. Oh well.

So, quick refresh: the daily posts were part of an intent to focus on the happy, good things in each day and try to stay positive. You can draw your own conclusions from the lack of posts, I suppose.

Despite that, there were actually quite a few good things over the last few days. I helped a friend plan a complicated cosplay on Wednesday, and received art (and random little presents too, which was so sweet) from my friend Cally. She drew me a dragon for the new pen name, and named her, naturally, Leaf Pendragon. Ah, the puns. I should've thought of that one. Leaf's now the background of my Twitter page. I'm still playing with settings to work out if I can get her onto the background of the blog too, and keep everything legible. She's a pretty thing, though, you have to admit.

I also got some more feedback on Dryden version whatever it is at this point, and more again on Thursday. I was getting very lost in attempts to rewrite, second (and third, and fourth) guessing myself at every turn, certain of some problems and hating other bits but not sure if that was just me or if they actually needed work. Hearing back from my readers settles that - even if I disagree with the odd comment, it still solidifies what I have to do to make progress. It clarifies matters, and reassures me that there's something worth saving in the draft.

There was also the NaNoWriMo group chat on Thursday night, which meant I got a little writing done. Hanith again, poor lad.

On Friday I made it into town to pick up the latest Loki: Agent of Asgard comic, because Loki. It did make me laugh like a drain, too.

Saturday included a trip to the cinema to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier for the second time... So I really can't complain about that. I even managed to do almost all the dishes and cook again, afterwards.

Today was monthly NaNo in-person meetup, too, so I spent the afternoon hanging out with half a dozen other writers, generally geeking out, chatting, and keeping up to date with everybody's plans and current writing status. It's nice, though this particular meet did leave me more exhausted than usual. I think I'm still not quite entirely recovered from the troubles of Tuesday through Thursday. Remember I mentioned how the food and the happy overlap a lot? This does mean that lack of happy equals lack of food, especially if I'm feeling guilty. That in turn slows me down for a while, which does mean a much lesser chance of sparking off further guilt-inducing incidents, but also means it's difficult to get back up to doing a full day of normal stuff without ending up utterly shattered at the end of it.

Oh well. The delays in getting round to actually writing Dryden 2: The Second One have meant that the plot is getting longer, more in depth, and crueller with every passing day. Shame it all makes sense and follows on from the chaos of the first book. My poor characters. They did so little to deserve this.

40 days: halfway. Score!

Another writing day, though interrupted by pestering cats who decided that I had much better things to be doing, like stroking them for an hour or so. They are incredibly cute, though, and it's still such a nice change to be able to touch them and not stop breathing in response (all hail antihistamines) that I can't resist.

Did a couple of little bits around the house again, including clearing as much space for Dance Central as I'm able to without getting into stuff that I really don't want to be putting in the wrong place. And Daisy has talked me into calorie counting as well to try and get back into our good clothes (and cosplay, over here). So far so good, helped by the portions of homemade meals I still had left. I am rather competitive, which is keeping me from devouring (at least all in one go) the wonderful stash of chocolate I've still got from the Christmas sales...

I swear I wasn't this food obsessed before I started a) cooking, or b) writing these blog posts. But it's actually a very good thing, honestly. One of my clearest warning signs of dipping back into the self-hatred and the dark spirals is when I have no interest in food and stop eating. Which in turn, due to lack of energy and the side effects of hunger, spirals me down further. So focusing on happy and focusing on food actually overlap much more on the Venn diagram than you might expect.

Anyway. Other stuff.

Claire tidied up her next Lavendar short story, we discussed one of the finer points on Twitter for a bit, I fired it at a couple of lovely, obliging friends who were able to give it a quick read and answer a single question for her. (They both enjoyed it, too. I do have awesome friends.)

So yes, you should probably go read the story: here.

(And the first one is here if you didn't get to that before. Tut tut!)

As the tiger sang: That's what friends are for...

Today I was an hour and a half late meeting up with friends... Because the lovely people I'm living with happen to be epic, amazing board game geeks, and yesterday they acquired the latest expansion set for the game Sentinels of the Multiverse - which is a hilarious riff on classic comic book superheroes and villains, and a thoroughly enjoyable co-operative game too. So we started playing a game at 1pm, I needed to leave at 2pm at latest... I started to feel like maybe the game was taking a little too long shortly before we beat the scenario and wrapped it up, went off and checked the time... 3.20pm. Whoops! Fortunately my friends are lovely and understanding and most of them have played Sentinels before and know how absorbing it can be.

In any case, we made it out and about and tried a different restaurant to usual. Pulled pork all round, and much gossiping and silliness and relaxing in good company, so happy days.

I also managed to finally pull myself together and talk to one of my best friends in the world, who is insanely busy and lives in the US so has completely different time zones to me and we never get to meet up face to face. I miss her a lot, all the time, but I'm notoriously bad at keeping in touch and she, as I say, is ridiculously busy, so it's been a little while since last emails etc. I'm pleased I managed to get a little contact going again, and must try to email more often. My only resolution this year was to be better at keeping in touch (with a lot of people), and I've already let it slide too much.

I've been chatting to a couple of other friends on Skype as well, including my lone friend back in my hometown, who, similarly to my US friend, I don't talk to enough. Those two in particular always brighten my day. They somehow manage to settle some unstable part of me, even on the other side of a computer. I do get more anxious if I haven't talked to them in too long.

So generally today has been a day of my people, which is good and calming and helpful and fun. Tomorrow will be reading and writing again, and possibly even that weird cooking thing too...

One down, five to go

Couple of successes today, after a rocky few days. Made it into town and requested all of the Clarke Award shortlist from the library, aside from the one I've already been lent. They had none of them in stock yet at all, which is kind of a shame, especially considering the amount of buzz I've seen about a few of them, but I suppose I move in different circles to the library. In any case, the five I haven't got my hands on yet are now on order, and I hope they'll come through soon enough that I'll still have time to read and review them all before May 1st, when the winner's announced.

I picked up a couple of other books while I was there, including a steampunk short story anthology, because I've been writing those recently and am always happy to read more. Also one of the stories is by Jody Lynn Nye, and I need to read more of her stuff.

The other success was, naturally, food related (as usual). I managed to make a faux shepherd's pie (not lamb; pork - the suggestion came in of "swineherd's pie", which I like) from scratch, with no recipe. I even mixed it up a bit and made the mashed potato topping half Maris Pipers and half sweet potato, and that turned out pretty spectacularly. I'm very pleased with it all, even if it did take a long time and cause a bit of a mess in the kitchen. I'm starting to like this cooking thing, especially when it results in tasty food rather than just edible food. Focusing on something other than writing for a while is helpful, like sorbet between courses. Cleansing the palate of the brain.

Now I want ice cream. I wonder how you make that...

(Bonus: Everyone who read the title in Benicio del Toro's voice, take ten points and a nod of geeky appreciation.)

Day 9

So... uh. I made butterscotch Angel Delight and nearly made myself sick by eating almost a pint of it in one go? Does that count as a good thing?

Um. Had a couple of nice interactions with authors and editors on Twitter. That's definitely a good thing.

Intended to read Honour's Knight and friend's Lavender challenge story, but that didn't happen. Managed to write the first two lines of my Lavender, but then... stuff happened. Can't really write at the moment, especially not on that.

Um. Can't think of anything else good about today. Started off with a headache from stresses over the last couple of days, never quite escaped it. The space behind my eyes that felt so light and free when I finished and submitted Tick Tock is now full of unpleasantness and failure.

So much for Lent.

The geeks shall inherit the Earth

Today I made it round to see friends and help with a few chores again, which is always good, and even made it into town for another friend's birthday get-together. Since he's cool and clearly has good taste in people, I manged to get on well with the Doctor Who fans on my table, and we had a very pleasant geeky chat (they even bought my drink, wonderful sweet people that they were), while everybody attempted to eat ten little plates of sushi or assorted Japanese goodies. I tried the odd bit from other people's plates when they were getting too full to finish them, and am cautiously expanding my food tolerance to include some Japanese dishes now. Still not sushi, though. I like my fish battered and vinegared beyond all recognition, ta.

I wasn't eating, partly because when we left I went back to my friends' and had dinner there. They'd been torturing a gammon joint in a slow cooker and cider all day, and good grief it came out well. Practically fell apart when you tapped it with a fork. I may have to try slow cooker stuff at some point.

Obsessed with food, moi? Never.

Oh, and also, I clearly have the best friends, because after an outpouring of wails and lust on Twitter for a couple of t-shirts on sale a few weeks ago, I have been given both. Twice. Because my people are amazing. So now I have FOUR extra Loki t-shirts, bringing my total to six, so I shall never have to go without again. Fortunately for everyone, the two new Loki designs are so pretty I am absolutely sure I'll want to wear them a lot, so having duplicates is a very good thing; I do have a tendency to wear my best shirts to death, and it would be a very great shame to kill Loki off too soon. In a manner of speaking.

And I even managed to change my sheets and put away all the pots and pans in the kitchen, too.

Stop the clocks

Smaller achievements/shiny things of the day: have been sent second "Lavender and the Random Acolyte" story from my wonderful group (read and enjoyed), used up the last of the leftover pork by successfully following another recipe from my friend's mother (it involved dumplings, and I wasn't the only one who ate it, and there is none left, so I'm counting that as a triumph even if the pork did get a bit burnt).

Big shiny thing of the day: I finally finished Tick Tock. Heavens above, that story has taken it out of me.

Tick Tock started life aeons ago, intended for a Steampunk Horror anthology, but I was well and truly stuck in my rut back then and couldn't even start writing it. I told the basic idea to my friend Sarah, though, with much hand-waving and sarcastic asides (from me, I should say) and she liked it. She liked it so much that every time from then on that I mentioned an attempt at writing any short story, she'd demand, "Is it Tick Tock?"

She kept it alive in the back of my head, and eventually I stumbled across a submissions call for "Lesbian Steampunk", and thought I'd try again.

From the dates on the Open Office document, it would appear it's taken me almost two weeks to write it, start to finish. From the dates on the doc for Hanith, that one was about two weeks too, from start to submission. Hanith was 4500 words. Tick Tock is 8500. No wonder I feel absolutely shattered.

Strange to think that 75 thousand words in just over twice that time was nowhere near as difficult.

Short stories seem much harder to do. You need a clearer focus, one central idea on which to hang the trappings of a story, rather than the multiple interweaving subplots and grand concepts and sheer waffle you can explore in a novel, let alone NaNoWriMo when it's all about the word count, baby. I lost track of my central idea a couple of times while writing Tick Tock (which is partly why it's currently 8500 words, including a couple of scenes where I did the NaNo trick of Keep writing and you'll find your way back onto plot somehow). This doesn't really surprise me, given that it started out as a horror story concept and has since morphed a couple of times and completely changed its ending at least twice in the process. So tomorrow I should be editing and trimming and tidying and maybe, maybe, if I'm lucky and it's not as flabby and unfocused as I fear, I'll be able to make the submission deadline. I shall, therefore, go to bed now and save the thoughts on short stories for a different blog post, when I am actually awake.

Also I should clean the kitchen. My pots and pans are stacking up.

It's a big success for me, though, and I am proud of finishing it, whatever happens from here.

Barbecue sauce makes everything better

Today started surprisingly well, with actual breakfast at a reasonable time. I haven't had cereal since... er... December, perhaps? So that made a nice change. I even managed to break the solemn Rice Krispie rituals and eat from something other than a wide, flat bowl, and use an implement other than the one particular spoon I always favour. Heresy and blasphemy.

I spent most of the day progressing Tick Tock - it's now cleared 4500 words and is gearing up properly. (Gearing, get it? Steampunk, clockwork, see? Ah, such a card.) Did a lot of random research on Victoriana and clockwork terminology for a few tiny little details, and hope I might be able to get it to hang together now, too. Started to hit the sweet spot of Write Now, Edit Later, where things actually get done. But I absolutely must get to The End tomorrow if I want any feedback from anyone before submission deadline. And boy, will it need editing.

In the gaps in between writing sprints, while my brain cooled down, I managed to catch up on How I Met Your Mother (I am going to miss that show a lot when it finishes), and admire the ingenuity and wonderful playfulness of Cardboard Box Office - seriously, check that one out. It's utterly glorious how creative and fun they're being. Every time I look at it I want to do better, to put more fun into the world. Who knew cardboard boxes could be so inspirational?

Other things I managed to do: use some of the leftover pork from the roast to make really exceedingly nice barbecue pork sandwiches for dinner, sort through lots of photos of some of my old cosplays and find that actually they're mostly quite good fun (I may do a photo post soon), and talk to friends I don't see often enough via Skype.

Not bad, all round.

Today's good stuff includes chocolate, doughnuts, and longbows

I think last night I actually managed to get enough sleep for once. I can't remember when I last woke up feeling actually refreshed. Mind you, since I generally can't remember what I did 24 hours previously, these days, that's not really saying all that much.

Still, today I managed to get not one, but two birthday cards sent off on time, which makes a change. But hey, my Gran turns 89 tomorrow... There's nothing terrifying about that, honest.

I also managed to get out and about (on time, again) and help friends get to doctor's appointment and get a couple of other chores done, as well as delivering the recipe card. It's always nice to hang out with them, and H paid me well in doughnuts and dinner and Son of Rambow (which had us both laughing out loud more than once).

Also I tried a bar of Galaxy Honeycomb chocolate, since it was on offer. Can pretty safely say I much prefer Cadbury's, for some reason. I think Galaxy is somehow slightly more sickly-sweet. So there's that. Not to worry, I still have most of a ridiculous stockpile of excessively cheap post-Christmas sale chocolate. I think I still have eight bars of the "Snowy Delight" vanilla cream filled bars... I'm not going to be in need any time soon.

Oh, and yesterday I emailed the local archery group, to ask if they could accommodate wooden longbow, since all the photos on their website tended towards modern recurves and telescopes to check their shots (pah!) and today I got the response: yes, we have others and would love to have you, come along! So I must retrieve my longbow and arrows and kit from Carlisle and see what I can do. The good weather and outdoor season is starting, too, so I'd be able to shoot at 40 yards, which was always my distance. It's been too long.

Meanwhile, Tick Tock progresses, though still too slowly. Scenes are less treacle-pit and more sidetracked by unexpected character interaction and exterior distraction, today. I think tomorrow I'll have to dedicate much of the day to it, though the kitchen needs doing too. Ah, housework, steadfast and unfailing whenever I need an excuse to procrastinate. What would I do without it?

"Get more writing done" is probably an overly optimistic answer there.

Short stories abound

So certain members of my NaNoWriMo group have got into the habit of meeting up in an online chatroom every now and then for impromptu writing sessions. It's good fun, and definitely helps get stuff done. It also leads to extremely random conversations, tangents, and typos.

One such accident of fortuitous timing led to the phrase "Lavender and the Random Acolyte" popping up, which naturally we all agreed was clearly a short story title. So we're all writing one.

Therefore, shiny thing number one today: I got to read the first of these, from our glorious leader Claire (blogging over here). And blimey, it was good. Made me laugh a lot and want more stories with her main character. It may turn up on said blog soon, in which case I will gleefully link to it. I'm looking forward to the others now (and to getting round to mine, as soon as I'm done with Tick Tock of course).

Shiny thing number two: thanks to friends yesterday I have managed to circumvent the slight issue of my laptop no longer having a working disc drive, and have finally got my copies of the two different Avengers Assemble soundtracks onto my laptop and ipod. Whoot. Must do the same with Thor and Thor 2, and then I can have Loki music whenever I so choose. (Because everything is Loki.)

Shiny(ish) thing number three: I attempted to make something approaching a roast dinner today, since I had  a big joint of pork lying around. It went pretty well. Too much salt on the carrots and potatoes, but they were soft and perfect aside from that small problem, and it has meant I am now more hydrated than I have been in months... Also, Daisy (she of Migraine Memoirs) tried the crackling from the pork joint and declared it so good it may just be my hidden talent. Shame I don't like crackling, really.

Other random assorted shiny: it was sunny again, which I always enjoy (I like being warm), I remembered to collect the recipe card I promised to pick up for a friend, and I got the kitchen briefly clean before I started on the roast.

Ah well. All that and I still managed to break 3k with Tick Tock too. Progress is still slow, but getting there.

40 days of blogging

So in a (probably vain) vague attempt to cheer myself up and stay there, I have decided to... well, accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, et cetera. So I'm starting Lent, a little late, and for the next forty days I'm going to try to find good, happy, fun things in each day, and blog about them to drive the point home to myself. I won't be tweeting every single blog post, so as to spam you as little as possible, but for those of you following the blog itself, I apologise in advance. Also, I will appreciate any nudges or any shiny pretty things you feel like sharing with me to give me more material. If I run out of happy, I'll just have to expand on my snippet of squee about The Gospel of Loki, and do a full post review.

Right, then. Good things about today: it was sunny, I was (most unusually) on time to go places with friends, and one of the places in question was a Vintage Fair in town. The cosplayer in me tends to take over at places like that, and I start eying up anything that looks familiar, or a little bit steampunk. Most Vintage stuff tends to aim for '50s at the moment, though, so I thought I'd be restrained. And then we walked in and I suddenly remembered I'm going to a couple of weddings this year (starting with my uncle's in May) and I've... ahem... grown out of most of my usual smart attire. Suffice it to say I found a cute little dress for an extremely reasonable price, and am pretty sure I'll be able to get into it even if I go wild in the post-Easter chocolate sales. Remind me, and I'll try to get a picture sorted, steampunk boots and all (because I can't get too girly, now, can I?).

I also got my hands on three new snazzy sci-fi books, too, thanks to awesome friends and wonderful author giveaways. I came home with: Honour's Knight by Rachel Bach (sequel to Fortune's Pawn, which I've been itching to read since I finished the first, naturally); Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (which I'm intrigued to read due to the interesting reviews I've seen around so far); and City of Angels by Todd McCaffrey (whose technological worldbuilding is generally top notch). So I'm keen to get on with those and will be trying to do a review post for each of them soon.

First, though, I really must finish poor old Tick Tock. If I could just get out of the treacle pits of dragging, difficult scenes and into the flow again... With all those lovely book carrots dangling ahead of me, and that March 15 deadline stick lurking behind, I'm sure I can manage to wrestle one little short story into shape, right?

Oh, and I made a full batch of perfect pancakes, too. Because if you're going to start Lent late, you have to fit pancakes in somewhere.

Time's a-wasting

Anyone who knows me in person will be able to tell you I do not eat well. Left to my own devices I have a tendency to eat the same thing for lunch every day, and alternate between a couple of easy meals for dinner. As in, four days of one thing, until the mince base is used up, then four days of another, likewise. Or maybe nothing, because the supermarket is all of five minutes' walk away and nothing really appeals.

So yesterday I used a recipe from my friend's mother, and chopped onions and garlic and aubergines, and prepared two different components and added spices and flavouring and made actual proper food, which may even be good (or better, at least) for me. My body counts itself lucky if it gets five a week, never mind five a day, so this is an improvement.

It took a couple of hours to prepare and cook, what with me having to double check the recipe constantly, and discovering how to chop onions and so on. And it was very tasty.

And I spent the whole time thinking "I wish I were writing". Even the time I spent eating the darn thing, I was thinking of the line I need to put into current draft of Dryden (almost finished, huzzah) to fix a potential plothole.

It's sort of nice, to be so consumed by it again, when six months ago I threw the whole lot in and swore never again. But I should probably be able to think about other stuff, like paying work or this silly proofreading exam...

This happens a lot. I feel like I'm wasting time almost all the time. And that puts unnecessary extra pressure on me, which doesn't help when I do sit down to write.

So I should probably go do that proofreading thing, since there's a time limit on that and I can feel it hovering in the back of my mind...